I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
how does that bad decision feel?
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