So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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