I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
time to smoke my breakfast
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
