Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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