Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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