Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
