Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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