how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
