I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
