just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
