so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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