loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize