what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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