party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
