Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize