I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
