can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
