They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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