That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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