For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
