She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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