her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
should my penis look like a turkey
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
