So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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