Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
