I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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