I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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