We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
