go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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