I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is wine microwaveable?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
