Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
