So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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