if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
