i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
