He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
