so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
