please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
