Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
