Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
