I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
