It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
