the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
