why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize