we're blogging at a bar
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
