Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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