You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
