What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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