so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
