my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
