I want to stick my p in your. b.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
