Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
