everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
