giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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