just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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