Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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