Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I love having hate sex.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
