Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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