Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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