I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
