operation have a gay friend backfired
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
