Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
