just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
