You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have so much sex to catch up on
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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